My Precautionary Testimonie

Hi, I’m Monice, and I’m a stroke survivor.

Fam, trust. I NEVER expected to have this on my bingo card.

Yet, he we are.

BUT before I move on, don’t freak out! I’m not writing this from a hospital bed.

This is a reflective post.

A precautionary testimonie.

Let’s dig in….

THE CASE OF MY CURIOUS EYE 

I’ve been wearing glasses since the third grade. I inherited my eyes from my Daddy — curious (I refuse to call it lazy) right eye and all — so my sight has been blurring since before I was eight or nine years old.

Add to that, my family’s genes are so freaking amazing that glaucoma runs all through our  bloodline. And lucky me, Baby Jesus gifted me with this progressive optic nerve damaging condition, too.

So…11 years ago, my optometrist – concerned by what he saw during my  annual exam – referred me to my ophthalmologist, Dr. Mora, to keep an “eye” on things. (See what I did there? 😉)

Over the years, Dr. Mora has reliably monitored my shrinking visual field and helped me manage the pressure in my eyes to keep the progressive effects of glaucoma at bay.

No biggie. She’s just been helping me save my eyesight. You know — Pretty much routine.

Until during one visit, Dr. Mora shared that she saw something in my CT scan that concerned her, and she suggested that I get a MRI and follow up with a neurologist.

SAY WHAT NOW? 

Now, Fam, I knew what Dr. Mora was saying without her saying it.

But me? A stroke?

My mom is a vascular dementia stroke survivor. My dad had  an ischemic stroke towards the end, too.

So, I knew what strokes looked like…

• One side of the face and body drooping or sagging from multiple TIA mini strokes.  (My mom)
• Slurred speech or gibberish Asphasia speak. (My dad)

I had NONE of those symptoms. Never. Not one. So I wasn’t consciously worried about what Dr. Mora was not saying.

Still, I made the appointment, because she suggested I should. And I went on with my life — flying back and forth co-caregiving with my sister for my mom in Detroit… writing… creating…pivoting…loving Mr. Simms.

I kept it pushing.

Then, yesterday, as I was finally sitting in my neurologist’s waiting room to be seen, I allowed myself to start… wondering.

It wasn’t full blown worrying yet. That came when I was sitting across from Dr. Eddie as he calmly asked what brought me in to see him, and I  rattled off why Dr. Mora referred me and I…

Oh, wait! There’s an important part of the story I haven’t told you yet.  Put a pin in this and follow me all the way back to 2010…

WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS 

Sixteen years ago, I was subsisting with multiple fibroids and heavy, chronic bleeding.

I was severely anemic, iron deficient, and one day, out of the blue, I lost peripheral vision in my right eye.

Luckily, I wasn’t driving or anything. I was just sitting on my couch, watching I-don’t-remember-what on my TV and POOF! Peripheral vision. Right eye. Gone.

No headache. No racing heart. No side of my face or body drooping. And I kept talking to my husband. Normally.

Two hours or so later, my peripheral vision returned. And I think we probably had Thai food that night for dinner.

Stop yelling, Fam. I hear what you’re thinking — MONICE! WTH?! Why didn’t you take your ass to the hospital?

Well…I didn’t go to the hospital, which was right around the corner, by the way, because other than my pesky inability to see out the corner of my eye… I felt fine.

And I readily admit my definition of fine was not every one else’s definition of fine. As the first born daughter of a Black single, cancer surviving mother, I had basically been under stress since birth. I also had been prioritizing everyone else before myself while my own body was fighting for its life for so long that I refused to let hubby take me to ER just for me to wait for hours in the waiting room.

So, it didn’t necessarily surprise me when Dr. Eddie confirmed that I had a stroke 16 years ago.

But did it scare me?

Absofuckinglutely.

Because how the hell did I have a stroke without knowing it?! 

Well. To have Dr. Eddie tell it — It happens more often than you think…

THE SILENT KILLER 

In fact, according to the Center for Disease control, not only does someone has a stroke in the United States every 40 seconds.  But also 1 in 4 adults over the age of 25 will experience a stroke in their lifetime.

Thank God, most people who experience “silent strokes” like mine don’t initially endure any noticeable symptoms.

But because strokes do damage or cause brain cells to die from lack of blood or oxygen — as the American Stroke Association reports —  people might notice mild memory loss, trouble focusing or poor balance  as they get older.

And having silent strokes – which cause the lasting effect of permanent build up in small areas of your brain over time – also doubles or increases the chance of having a major stroke later.

WHOO HOO! LUCKY ME, RIGHT?

Actually, Dr. Eddie, told me I was lucky. One, because I didn’t die from a  full blown stroke 16 years ago. And two, because it has not happened since.

Why?

Maybe because I don’t drink or smoke (like both of my parents did), I watch what I eat, I guard my peace, I feed my mind, I evicted my fibroids, and I exercise to proactively combat my top notch familial lineage. (Besides glaucoma, so many more wonderful things fall out of my family tree. 😄) 

Or… I wasn’t supposed to leave here at 38 years old.

Yep. Instead of spinning into darkness over what might could have happened, I’m gonna skip into the light with the belief that God wanted me to…

1. Celebrate my 40th Birthday
2. Volunteer teaching girls creative writing in prison
3. Reconnect with Daddy with him visiting me in Cali four years before he passed away
4. Grow closer to my friends and loved ones
5. Be there for my baby sis as much as I can and watch my nieces and nephew grow up
6. Learn how to rock climb
7. Celebrate my 50th Birthday hiking the Grand Canyon
8. Take my long overdue college back pack through Europe trip and attend a solo writers retreat in France.
9. Skydive in Cali enjoying the view of the Pacific ocean
10. Throw momma a surprise 73rd birthday party with Sistah
11. Enjoy soooo many walks
12. Celebrate Sistah’s 50th Birthday watching the sun rise over the Sahara desert.
13. Pay Momma back by helping care for her when she needs us most (No way we can)
14. Spend 5,844 more days and counting with the love of my life, Mr. Simms.
15. Continue living and growing in my gift as a writer and storyteller
16. And whatsomeever more blessings that are coming next!

MY PRECAUTIONARY TESTIMONIE 

I am so blessed to still be here, Fam. That’s what I’m taking away from my stroke scare….16 years after the fact. 

And what’s my takeaway for you?

PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR BODY.

Strokes and a whole lot of other sneaky things can be silent killers. 

And if you’re too busy or distracted with stuff that… let’s be honest… doesn’t really matter, you may be putting your life in danger without even knowing it. 

So…PLEASE  remember my precautionary testimonie.

I’m gonna stay vigilant on my preemptive familial health journey, keeping a look out for any more signs of the silent killer.  And I pray you do the same.

Because God ain’t done with us yet, Fam.

Trust. ❤️